VALENTINE'S DAY - JAPAN-STYLE

Valentine's Day: A day when couples demonstrate their love for each other by giving each other cards and presents across the globe. Well, with one exception: Japan!

Because as Christmas Eve in Japan has taken the top spot in the calendar as the favourite day for lovers and couples (if you wonder why, take a look at one of my previous posts: Christmas in Japan - KFC and Christmas Cake), I guess they had to slightly re-purpose Valentine's Day.

So in Japan, women - and only women! - traditionally give a box of chocolates (and it has to be chocolate!) to the men in their lives, which may range from husbands or boyfriends all the way to dads, coworkers and bosses!

There are even different types of chocolates depending on who you give them to. Well yes, the Japanese are extremely organised when it comes to gift-giving, as I had already established in this previous post (The Art of Giving - And Giving Back)!

It is generally said that the celebration of St. Valentine's Day goes back as far as the 5th century and started out more as a religious than a romantic occasion.

In comparison, in Japan Valentine's Day only became a thing in the 1950s (so a 'wee bit' later...), when confectioners started campaigns for selling chocolate, with their main demographic being women who wanted to buy treats for husbands and boyfriends. And somehow that stuck.

So thanks to confectioners spearheading the campaign, it's not flowers or jewellery, but just chocolate - in abundance. And the buyers are exclusively women, buying them for all sorts of men in their lives.

Now, as a representative of the male species, that may sound great (if not so great for your waistline!). Because even if you're not in a romantic relationship, you're almost certain to receive chocolates, most likely from a female co-worker. And it doesn't mean that she's got the hots for you, so don't read too much into the gesture!

It's just the tradition here.

But there is a caveat.

When I experienced this for the first time in the company I worked, I was very pleased. But only until I realised that there is more to it, as in fact it comes with some obligations. In a country where gift-giving is an elaborate art, I guess I was foolish to think that it was that simple...

Because on 14 March, exactly one month after Valentine's Day, comes 'White Day'. And as you may already have guessed, on that day it's the men's turn to return the favour and give chocolates back to the women (obviously not the same, as you would have - hopefully - eaten them by then!).

So to me, receiving chocolate on Valentine's Day felt more of a burden than a joy, because I then had to remember who to give chocolate to one month later. You don't want to include someone who didn't consider you on Valentine's Day (as that would likely embarrass them - since the gift-giving-and-receiving equilibrium would have been upset). But by the same token, you also don't want to forget anyone who did give you a Valentine's Day gift, as that could feel very awkward, since you would have broken the unwritten code of ethics of gift-giving, which would probably lose you quite a few brownie points with the ladies.

When it comes to gift-giving in Japan, things can easily get complicated!

Then again, if you're a foreigner, you would likely be forgiven for the faux-pas, because when it comes to social etiquette in Japan, foreigners are generally not held to the same (high) standards as natives. Which may sound like a good thing, as it can make life less complicated. But it can also sometimes make you feel like an outsider. There is always a flip side of the (yen) coin...

A newspaper article yesterday reported that the number of women who plan to buy Valentine's chocolates for themselves in Japan is more than three times the number of those giving the treats to their sweethearts (or bosses, as the case may be), and it has been rising fast in recent years.

I'm not sure what this is telling us...

Perhaps that women in this country cannot be bothered anymore following the usual convention of giving (obligatory) chocolates to the men in their lives, with the risk of them not reciprocating.

That they perhaps don't really like their co-workers?

Or that they simply like chocolate too much to just give it away, and figure that the money is better spent if they eat it themselves...

Whatever it may be, to those who celebrate the day - Japanese-style or otherwise - happy Valentine's Day!