Japanese efficiency is practically an art form! Imagine a world where everything runs like clockwork, with the precision of a synchronised swimming team. From the seamless precision of trains to the meticulous attention to detail in production lines, it's all about minimising waste and maximising productivity. After all, this is the birthplace of "kaizen". Sushi chefs turn fish into masterpieces in no time, and even the simple act of pouring tea becomes a masterclass in precision. Efficiency here isn't just a concept; it's a way of life, executed with such flair that it deserves its own Broadway show.
But on occasion, the urge to be more efficient can get hilariously out of hand, as I witnessed just the other day. I was waiting at a red light on my way to work, when I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the guy behind me, meticulously shaving with an electric razor. And he was very thorough: at each red light, he shaved a different part of his chin.
My guess is that this wasn't a one-off oversleeping incident, but his regular routine. Maybe he should consider getting up five minutes earlier to shave at home instead of putting on a public show...
But he doesn't seem to be alone in his quest to do part of his morning toilette on his way to work.
A few years ago I spotted a driver happily brushing his teeth while navigating traffic. One could argue it's safer than checking your smartphone, as you don't need to take your eyes off the road, but perhaps there are better places to perform dental hygiene tasks than your car.
Once, I even saw a guy playing his banjo behind the wheel. He must have thought his commuting time was best spent practicing his chords. Or his wife had banned him from playing his instrument at home. Whatever the reason, we should be grateful it was a banjo and not a tuba — otherwise, he'd need a convertible!
Public transport is no exception. Many people spend hours on trains, so why not get some personal grooming done? I once saw a woman do her entire morning routine on the train — makeup, nails, and then she pulled out a battery-powered hairdryer from her bottomless bag. She styled her hair like she was in her bathroom, not a moving train with dozens of fellow commuters as her (captive) audience. If it were possible, I bet she'd shower there too!
Efficiency through technology has its quirks too.
For instance, with a shrinking workforce, restaurants increasingly use apps for ordering, freeing up staff to serve food. But it makes customizing orders tough. Want a pizza without anchovies? Better call over the waiter, who will then have to figure out how to get the non-standard order processed. Plus, different restaurants have different apps - your phone needs all the storage space in the world! And many apps are only in Japanese, making it tricky if you're not fluent in the lingo.
Recently, I was at an Indian restaurant that had switched to an app-based menu — unbeknown to me. I waited five minutes for a menu until the waitress finally came over and asked if I was okay. So, I scanned the QR code, downloaded the app — all in Japanese — somehow managed to place the order, and then watched as the waitress picked up the printed order from the till at the entrance and took it to the kitchen. Not quite so digital after all...
And then there was a recent experience on my arrival at Narita Airport. In the past, passengers would fill out those charming yellow customs declarations on the flight. But Japanese Customs decided to enter the digital age. "Great," I thought, naively optimistic.
So, I downloaded the app and filled in all the details before even leaving Zurich. Upon arrival, I figured I'd simply scan the QR code on my phone, along with my passport, at one of those high-tech scanning terminals, and then waltz through customs like a VIP. Simple, right?
Well, reality had other plans. As I approached the scanning terminal after picking up my bags from the carousel, I was asked no fewer than three times by different staff members whether I had a QR code or a paper form, to make sure I would go through the right channel. Apparently, they don't trust passengers to figure this out on their own.
Finally, I arrived at the terminal, only to be greeted by yet another assistant, who wanted me to confirm again whether I indeed had a QR code. She then proceeded to give me step-by-step instructions on how to scan the code and my passport, despite the on-screen guide (in English, mind you) doing a fine job of explaining everything.
Having successfully completed the scanning, I was then whisked away to a manned counter — the very thing the digital process was supposed to eliminate — where my passport was checked manually again. Yep, the "automated" process now seems to require more staff than ever before!
Sometimes, the road to efficiency is paved with, well, inefficiencies. But I guess we'll get there in the end. And once autonomous vehicles are unleashed on our roads, probably nobody will bat an eyelid anymore if people perform their morning toilette in the car...
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